January 6, 2013
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2013.
Graduated.
Working.
Running.
Freezing.
Cooking.
Sleeping.
Single.
I can’t decide what that means, but it’s a pretty accurate description of what my life is.This year, I need to start writing again. As I was cleaning out my filing cabinet this morning, I kept finding random stories and things that I wrote when I was in elementary and middle school. Goodness, I wrote a ton. What happened? It’s like I hit high school and poof – I forgot. It’s kind of depressing. Sort of like this blog. I used to write in it every day and then I got to college. I guess my life got steadily more boring as I routinely did the same things day in and day out. No drama, no nothing. It’s bittersweet, actually. But I digress. If I want to have any kind of future with literature and writing, I actually have to do it. So that means I read one book a week and I write at least two paragraphs of something every day.
This starts now. Enjoy.
Let’s play catch up. Since the last time I wrote in here, I was just starting my last semester at college, an internship at a museum, and trying to just get through another three months with a boyfriend who was slowly draining the life out of me. It wasn’t a particularly great time, but I was doing all right. Around March, right after spring break, he texted me and it was over. Of course, in the moment, I was furious and angry and I wanted to strangle him. In hindsight, it was probably a really difficult decision to make and in his best interests, he didn’t do it face-to-face. Selfish, yes. Understandable, yes. For about a month, I was always fuming and any distraction was welcome. Then, he started dating another girl and I realized staying angry was just making my life more difficult than it needed to be. Graduation was coming and I threw myself into school. Soon, I had more than a 3.0 GPA and it was May. By this point, I was probably running about two and a half miles four times a week in the gym downstairs. It was fine and I was fine. I got home and started working at the company I was at last summer and I got a fifty cent raise.
Summer was uneventful with the exception of getting more responsibility at work and more frustration that comes with that. I was going to the gym still and slowly becoming the wallflower. I felt alone, but not really lonely. It had been a long time since I could come home and sit around without my phone. I missed certain things and I was glad that I didn’t have to deal with other things. He still works for my parents and I saw him periodically on the weekend outside. We don’t speak. It’s for the best.
Autumn came and the leaves fell. My sister left for college again, leaving me with my parents. I started walking the neighbors’ dog. Halloween was brought in with no electricity and working in the dark and cold. Thanksgiving arrived, along with my sister. I started running faster and longer. I watched more television shows on my laptop. I cleaned my room. Winter is here now. And I’m probably freezing ninety nine percent of the time. I’m still a wallflower at the gym and I stopped reading novels at work. I’m saving my money and staying in almost every weekend. The holidays are over. I got a lot of clothes to fit my ever shrinking figure. My sister came home for winter break. And here we are.
Maybe something will happen when spring comes and the world wakes up. I need to wake up.
