January 15, 2013
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I think I’ll write a letter to Jane Austen. She needs to hear from me.
The weather is acting up around here. It was seriously warm when I left for work yesterday, but was cold when I went to my dentist’s. What is Maryland’s issue lately with winter? Last year, it practically didn’t exist with temperatures never dropping below fifty or forty degrees. This year, a few days after the official first day of winter, snow. White Christmas. I missed the snow since we got all of zero last year. However, I was spoiled and I forgot what it’s like to leave the house without a heavy coat when it is below freezing. I’ve been throwing minor fits about this, especially when I have to take daily walks with the neighbors’ dog. It’s worth it, but I feel like a constant ice cube. Can it just be spring already? Once the holidays are over and we’re not getting any snow, I think it should be spring. Much like if we’re not getting any customers, I think I should be sent home.
Today is just a day for complaining. I know I should just go talk to him. It’s true. I can just say hi. That’s it. But I also know that since I am involved with someone else, I actually shouldn’t. Why does this happen? I always wait too long and by the time that he notices me, someone else has already staked a claim. Is it just bad luck? Why can’t the person I like want me exactly at the same time? Some love takes a while and those relationships are usually the ones worth waiting for, but I’m tired of waiting.
But taking the reins of my own life is too intimidating. Maybe I believe in some form of God because it’s too scary to believe that I am the only one who has control over myself. It’s easier to take your hands off the wheel and let someone else steer because if you crash, it’s not your fault.
God, please don’t let me crash.P.S. I’m not even particularly religious.
