January 31, 2013
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I want a tattoo.
It’s incredibly windy today and I woke up at three in the morning to howling. I hate the wind. There is no need for it, especially in the winter. It only makes me hate going outside more. At least the sun is out today. I think I’ve been feeling Vitamin D deficient ever since the clouds set in last week and lingered around until today. Stupid clouds. Stupid rain. Stupid wind. Stupid cold. Stupid weather.
My days are so monotonous that I don’t even notice time passing anymore. As soon as I look at the clock one day, I feel like it’s already the next day and I start everything all over again. I wake up, I get dressed, I eat breakfast, I go to work, I play on the internet for nine hours and eat lunch, I go home, I walk Bailey, I have dinner, I go to the gym, I pine, I go back home, I shower, I go to bed. Rinse. Repeat. I’m only twenty two and I live the life of a fully employed adult, boring and repetitive. If this is all that there is, I think I’d rather not. I feel like Belle from Beauty and the Beast and I know that when it gets warmer out, I’ll be very tempted to sing in the fields. “There must be more than this provincial life!” I mean, there has to be something planned to look forward to or why even bother to get out of bed every day? Especially in this wind! I’d really like to know if I end up happy. Not that I’m especially unhappy at the moment. Just bored.
I know it could be worse and I understand that as far as lives go, I’ve been lucky. But can I please just have something exciting happen to me? Anything? Maybe I don’t put myself out there enough for anything to happen and maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I should just go over and talk to him and maybe everything will just fall into place. Maybe it’ll be magical and wonderful and maybe I’ll live happily ever after.
I was right. I just want to be in love in a movie.
