June 20, 2013
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I wish I could make video blogs. Sometimes, I’d rather say things than write them down. But words are words and so I will continue to blog traditionally.
Nothing new is happening, but I thought I’d take the time to say that since I have the moment to do so. Am I the only one who stays awake at night, taking inventory of my life and realizing how small it is? I suppose a lot of other people lead small lives too, but I feel like the size of my life is considerably smaller than most.
I watched a video that talked about when “life starts” and what that means and when it happens. The narrator was saying how he feels like he’s perpetually waiting for his life to begin, but he’s not even sure what that would feel like. He thought that it would maybe start at a certain age by default or when he accomplished something great. He wishes he could say that his life has started, but he’s still waiting. He’s afraid that his life will begin shortly before it’s over and that he’ll always be waiting.
I guess I feel like my life has started. I mean, my life isn’t exactly exciting and as I said before, it’s pretty small. However, I do know what it’s like to be waiting for something. I always feel like I’m waiting for something. The present is never satisfying enough and I’m constantly staring at the clock. People are more likely to wish for the future and the past instead of being content in the present. Maybe that’s the reason why a lot of us feel like our lives haven’t begun. We’re waiting to be happy instead of content or something like that. Maybe it isn’t about what we do or how we do it but how we feel about it that makes people feel like they’re living. Or at least worth the space they take up on this planet.
We could all just be afraid of living because living means dying and if we put off living, we try to put off dying. I wish we knew how silly that is.Petals and leaves fall
Across my path down the hill.
I step over them.
