January 21, 2013

• "There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right."
  Martin Luther King, Jr. Thank you for having the courage that is now so limited, most have forgotten it completely. I admire you. Happy belated birthday.

  I know I haven't written all weekend and I know I made a promise. I need to enforce some kind of negative consequence for days that I do not write. Maybe for each day I do not write, I have to write a flash fiction piece. Or free-write for an hour. That might keep me more on track. I need to keep writing for practice at the very least, not to mention how well blogging helps to clear my mind. It's not nearly as effective as running, though. I can't wait to run later.
  Yesterday, I saw him at the gym. He came over and spoke to me. As per usual. I really don't understand this. If all he wanted was to sleep with me, fine. Check. I'm okay with being used for sex. Just be upfront about it. Don't pretend to be the nice guy. Own it. Be the butthead. I can respect that. Please stop trying to be my friend if there's a hidden agenda.
  My latest piece of advice that I've received is that perhaps he's still hanging on because whenever he wants company again, he won't have to work very hard to reel me back in. Am I being strung along? I don't feel like a puppy dog who only has eyes for him. And I'm pretty sure I still have that incredibly awkward crush on his coworker that just gets worse every time I go to the gym. So, this is where I am, stuck between my own thoughts and reality. Whatever reality even is.

  A cold, sudden wind
  Like a cruel slap in the face,
  Winter reminds us.

  That haiku was terrible. I need more practice.

  • 12:53 pm
  • Comments Off