April 3, 2013
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I'm cringing.
Why? Everything.
I will write every day. Even if it's not here.
I've got to start participating in life instead of passively living through the internet. Participating will get me a lot farther and more accomplished than hiding behind a computer.
At least, I'm hoping.
I suppose participating means actually talking to adorable boy. But talking to adorable boy is not as easy as pretending to talk to adorable boy, which is why, I suppose, that I choose to not participate.
Yesterday, while I was on the elliptical, I swear I caught him looking at me or at least in my general direction from across the gym. I've done this too many times, though: stared at someone enough that they notice and start staring back, simply because I started it.
Also, I think that's what happened with other guy.
Because I am a creeper, I may sometimes stare at all of those who work at the gym and other guy may have thought that when I looked at him, I was interested in sleeping with him. Which was not true. I look at everyone in order to throw adorable boy off from discovering my intentions, but I think my staring was misconstrued. At least, I think. Because why else would I be on someone's radar?
Granted, for some reason, I've been spoken to by numerous individuals at the gym recently, so perhaps I'm someone worth noticing. However, it could be because I stare and they've seen and accepted my imagined invitation for being social. Or other guy has taken to announcing my sexcapades to anyone who will listen. I'd prefer the former.
Can I just live unnoticed? Please? I prefer to keep to myself.
That completely defeats my previous motion to participate.
I should just accept that I'm crazy. And hilariously socially awkward.
I'm cringing, again.
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