June 5, 2013
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Well, I’m twenty three today. I’m old.
Where to start…
I always end up writing with weeks in between. Looking back through my past entries, there was an entire year that I wrote every day. I don’t know how I managed that. Back then, I had even less time to blog than I do now and I still managed to write at least a few sentences a day, usually a paragraph. Perhaps I just don’t have the motivation to write like that anymore. Thinking about that sort of makes me depressed
Especially now with the announcement that Xanga may cease to exist next month. I’ve had this account since 2004. I was fourteen. It’s almost an entire decade. An entire decade of teen angst, college monotony, and crushes and loves that one day I’ll forget about. An entire decade of eyelash wishes, song quotes, and complaining. An entire decade of weather updates, homework procrastination, and wasting time. An entire decade of loss, gain, and regret. An entire decade of hope, change, and accomplishments.
I was going through my old entries. I have definitely changed since I first started writing regularly. My thoughts are less disjointed and I feel like I’ve grown as a writer. I mean, I better have given all the papers that I’ve had to write over the years. All that practice had better count for something other than loss of sleep. I’ve been through a lot since high school and I like how my entries here reflect that. If Xanga does shut down, I’ll have to start blogging somewhere else. And, you know, I’d really rather not.
I have a history here. Granted, it’s not my entire history, but a lot of it is here. I came here when I needed a place to tell my story. And my story isn’t finished. I’ll probably donate what I can to keep my story here going. I need to.It’s funny. People are more likely to blog about nothing than something, but the entries I’ve written mean more to me than anything I’ve written in a journal. So, thanks. Thanks, Xanga. Thanks for that.
