December 21, 2008
-
Around this time last year, I was very much wrapped up in where I would be this year. I spent so much time angsting, talking about how much of a failure I'll be at life and in love. I never was once optimistic about where I would be headed and I figured I was doomed for eternity.
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself, "Don't worry. You're going to fine."
Hindsight is 20/20 and I would love to have knowledge that I do now, back then. It would have really helped and I wouldn't have spent so much time wallowing in self pity. Because, not only are wallowers unattractive, but they take so much of their useful time and energy worrying rather than taking any kind of action to fix things.
I wish I could have known that then.
Perhaps that would have kept me from leading this extreme life of ups and downs. If I'm happy, then I'm ecstatic. And if I'm sad, then I'm depressed. I have no middle ground. And I think I'm starting to enter into one of my periodic depressed moods that makes getting up in the morning very, very difficult.
I think it might have something to do with the weather. It was, of course, the first day of winter and everyone knows that cold temperatures make people depressed. I think it has something to do with the proximaty of the sun. But, I'm not scientific in the slightest, so I'm always going by word of mouth when it comes to stuff like that.
I wore all black in mourning today. I miss summer. I hate always being cold no matter how many layers I pile on in the morning. It's very frustrating.
At least I'm home now. So, I can suffer among friends.
Recent Comments