December 2, 2008
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So, I mailed the letter today, just before lunch. And as soon as I put it through the slot, I thought I would feel relief. But, instead I feel like I made a terrible mistake, something else that I'll later regret.
Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't be in charge of my own life. I never make the best choices and I make so many mistakes that can't be undone. Someone else should hold my hand and make decisions for me. I need an objective pair of eyes and a wise mind to keep me functioning properly.
I've never had those.
My parents always tried, but they're my parents. There's only so much they can do objectively before things get personal. And I never let any of my friends close enough to know more than just the basics. I've always had to make my own decisions and choices.
Now look where it's led me.
All I want to do for the rest of the day is lay in my bed with the comforter over my head and forget I ever decided to write that stupid letter.
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